actually, I'm a sock model
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
