How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
