I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize