hell yes lets make some ravioli
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
