I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't turn off my feet"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize