RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Bring me that man meat
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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