I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The struggles of a small town man whore
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
