is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
