I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Four minutes until I can fart!
my shit smells like andre
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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