I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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