Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
