he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
