Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
