K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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