shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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