RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
