highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
