so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
