let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
