Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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