ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
