Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.

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(801): View more from Utah

Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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(503): View more from Oregon

We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.

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(510): View more from California

Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.

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(914): View more from New York

If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

(914): View more from New York

I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.

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(219): View more from Indiana

We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.

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(940): View more from Texas

This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.

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(810): View more from Michigan

You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.

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