You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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