am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
