I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Two words: blizzard sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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