Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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