Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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