i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
