Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
