I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This toilet bowl is my home.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
