She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
