i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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