I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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