Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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