I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
