he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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