Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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