Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
