Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
