coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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