I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
