The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
