Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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