problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
