Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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