i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
