Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
