In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize