Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
