I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
