i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
