Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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