I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
