Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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