Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
