I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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