He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
