i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
