lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
