I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
