thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
