gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
