thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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