Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
