My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
