I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
