in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
