I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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